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Q and A

Jul 09, 2007; Palmsweat Asks:

Stacey, Do you have a day job? What is it? What was your day job right after you graduated from college? What day job do you recommend for a lost little writer, feverishly clutching her diploma, in a world filled with job opportunities in SALES but none in writing down dreamy-dreams?

Stacey answers:

I don't have a day job but my family has a business that I'm involved in that basically subsidizes my writing career. Right after I graduated from college I had a series of mind numbing clerical jobs too boring to list. How's about you try to get a job as a newspaper reporter? You don't always need a journalism degree for that and I know of a couple of people who did that right out of college. You might even get to write obituaries for people who aren't dead yet. That's sort of like writing dreamy-dreams.

Jul 03, 2007; merrik Asks:

Cricket is still alive?! And I thought I was old. Has anyone tried eating the walnut? That might help. And I'm sorry, truth hurts. My husband does think you're pretty. Will you post on your website news about any upcoming stories appearing in lit journals? I subscribe to a disgusting number of them.

Stacey answers:

I'll post a picture of the walnut and you can imagine eating it, Merrik. Yes, I can probably figure out how to post upcoming stories. There will be one in the October issue of Tin House if you want to mark your calendar.

Jul 03, 2007; monkey Asks:

Should we go see Maroon 5? That skinny guy has some appeal though he reminds of that guy I can't stand, Jason whatever. But if you want to go, I promise to jump up and down and scream like a girl.

Stacey answers:

If he'll stand there with his legs apart and no expression on his face, I'm totally there. But I'm afraid he'll move around and then I won't be able to love him anymore. But I would go just to hear you scream like a girl. And while we're on the subject, it's fun to go to Google images and google "Adam Levine" and "penis."

Jul 02, 2007; Merrik Asks:

How ironic is this... many, many moons ago, when you worked at the TW, I, too, earned chump change writing reviews for the Tucson Weekly (I wrote a paltry few book reviews). I often erupt into great, hawking chortles over the fact that fresh out of J-school, I presumed to know a rat's ass about literary criticism, but the TW after-parties were fun and I loved the people and the environment. Anyhooo, that's not what's ironic. More on that later. Many years later, after seeing a review of "My Date With Satan" in the NY Times (when I was working as a science editor for a university--yeah, I know, and with a J-degree!--anyway, when I read the review, I screamed to my husband, who always thought you were pretty, I screamed, "Hey, Pickle, look at this! Do you remember Stacy Richter? From the Tucson Weekly? She has a short-story collection out! And listen to this title!" As a lover of Atwood, Angela Carter, etc., etc., I thought, I'm going to LOVE this. And I did, I did, I did. I knew from reading your movie reviews that you had admirable wit. So I read the stories, chortled and snuffled with utter delight, then continued writing nonfiction. THen, after kids, I took some fiction writing classes, and Voila! We're at the ironic part. During a Gotham Writer's workshop, when one of our advanced fiction instructors asked for examples of really choice opening lines, I used "There are cavemen in the hedges again." That opening line, when I first read it months before, just floored me. Just hooked me in. So I used it as an example. One other student said Hey, I LOVE Stacy Richter! Then, and finally, finally, FINALLY, this is the ironic part: three weeks later, as a reading assignment for our lecture on crafting the most PERFECT sentence, this same story was our reading assignment! And not because I mentioned it weeks before. No, it was already scheduled. So there! I just about jumped up and down on my virtual desktop, imploring the others in my class to pick up your two short-story collections. Anyway, other than playing six degrees of separation, I wanted to ask you, how is lovely Tucson these days? And is Club Congress still there? And Jim...and Mari... Cheers to you and your well-wrought sentences.

Stacey answers:

Come now, Merrik. Everyone's going to be able to tell that I got plastered and wrote that question myself during the "love" phase of my I-love-myself/I-hate-myself mania. The part about the husband saying I'm pretty is a dead give away. Nice try, my friend.

As for your questions: lovely Tucson is expecting a high temp of 110 tomorrow so it's kind of hardcore. Club Congress is still there, and Al Perry still works the desk. Mari moved to California, and last I heard she was working for Dog World magazine. Jim is good! He has Mari's dog, Cricket, who's gone deaf and has sprouted an intriguing, benign growth in her ear that looks like a black walnut.

Jun 28, 2007; Wag Asks:

What do you think about the pataphor?

Stacey answers:

I did not know about the pataphor, Wag, I did not know. I just looked it up on Wikipedia, where I read that a pataphor is a metaphor that desires to become literal. I still don't understand it totally and I reckon I won't understand it totally until I smoke some chronic and think about it. Got any?

Jun 27, 2007; Pituitary Asks:

Hey Stacey, Who's bad?

Stacey answers:

You, Pituitary, you're bad. You're a bad, nasty little gland.

Jun 21, 2007; Junior Bizarre Asks:

Dear Stacey, I had a dream where you, me, Lynda Barry and Kelly Link went on a week-long bender which ended with us showing up at Joyce Carol Oates's compound and catching her herd of white persian cats and dying them with Manic Panic. At some point along the way we met Iggy Pop and Lou Reed, and you convinced me to buy a $60 bottle of wine (which I could NOT afford) in order to bed Iggy Pop more out of a sense of duty to rock n' roll than desire...because they're pretty old and crinkly now. But it turned out that Lou and Iggy were actually too old to get it up, and so the dream ended with a slightly shameful, unsatisfied feeling..... Also: why the hell does our culture reward super-depressing, boring art lacking a shred of a sense of humor or the joyous things in life? Do people actually enjoy that stuff? Are they getting something I don't? or do they just have no aesthetic sensibilities of their own and are throwing awards and reviews blindly at stuff that looks vaguely "arty" to them? Why does every oscar-winning film have to start out with children dying in car accidents?

Stacey answers:

Wow, Junior, what a great dream! I wish I could do those things in real life. I'd relish the cat-dying in particular. Iggy can get it up. I heard him tell Terry Gross on Fresh Air that he kept his physique fit by having a lot of sex.

Don't despair, JB, there's a lot of funny and well-rewarded art. How about George Saunders? Or David Sedaris, who's practically a rock star? But you're right, some people feel more like things are high quality when they're ponderous, especially when it comes to awards. Award-givers want to be sure that they're giving their prize to a book with true and lasting literary merit rather than something ephemeral. Somehow, somewhere in one of the backwaters of human nature, serious matters like tragedies and long winters and war and dead children have become associated with quality and merit for no particular reason. I think of this whenever I'm visiting someone's old, private library. I spent some time at Aaron Copland's house when a friend had a residency there and I was fascinated by his collection of contemporary novels--contemporary for Copland in the fifties. According to the jackets, all of the novels on his shelves were great American works on important themes and issues that would be read by future generations. The funny thing was that I hadn't heard of most of them. Or I had heard of them but didn't know anyone who still read those authors--he had a lot of Pearl S. Buck as I recall. It just shows that serious subject matter and "important" themes are not the only things people crave and remember in literature, and ponderous books have just as much chance as anything else to become, with the passage of time, ephemeral relics of fashion. But if you're on a prize committee, it probably feels a whole lot more normal to give a prize to Pearl S. Buck than to give it to Damon Runyon, to use some 1950's examples.

Jun 20, 2007; Motherless Tucson Asks:

Hey Stacey, You said your mom hasn't read your book. How'd you arrange that? Do your parents usually read your stuff or do you have some sort of understanding with them? It seems many things in your stories (and my stories and in literature in general) aren't exactly mom-and-dad friendly.

Stacey answers:

I didn't arrange it, it just happened. The secret was not to say anything. If I'd asked her not to read it she would have been suspicious and devoured it. I know she did read some of it; she read "Velvet," the story I wrote for her and my sister based on the life of Peanut, the insane dog they had when I was growing up. My mother doesn't really read anything. She doesn't read the buttons on the microwave oven that say "timer" and "clear." I think she might have really bad reading glasses or a really mild case of something like dyslexia but she doesn't seem unhappy about it so I don't bug her.

Jun 19, 2007; Tagine Asks:

Stacey...do you blog? I would love to read a blog written by you.

Stacey answers:

Hi Tagine. I don't have a blog, though I guess this Q and A has the potential to be blog-like if you or others ask me a lot of questions so that I can reply all the time about all the ways in which my shit is bananas. Frankly, I don't feel the urge to blog because I don't yet have an evil plan. If I ever devise a really good evil plan, I'd love to write a blog about it--since I could be sure it would have at least a whisper of a beginning, middle and end--but good evil plans are hard to come by. Otherwise I'm afraid it would be full of tedious details and lines like, "I feel incredibly gassy today."

Jun 14, 2007; Heffalump Asks:

Now that summer is with us, can you hand out any tips on bathing suit fashion? Is this going to be the summer of the tankini or the summer of the one piece? Also, which celebrities would you most like to see in tankinis?

Stacey answers:

I've been seeing a lot of skimpy bikinis in the magazines, but in swim wear, as in all fashion, I advise wearing whatever looks good on your frame. If that's a bikini, great. But if it's a diving bell, then that's fine too.

I would like to see Adam Levine of Maroon Five in a tankini. I'm totally fucking in love with that douche bag. Have you seen that airport video where he has his legs apart the whole time like Rick Springfield? And has no facial expression? It slays me.

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