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Q and A

Apr 30, 2007; Heffalump Asks:

I wrote a story, my mom read it, now she's mad. What do I do?

Stacey answers:

Okay Heffalump, here's what you do: Laugh, tell her it's fiction, FICTION, then remind her of some really rotten thing she did when you were a kid. Preferably something totally inexcusable, and if there's a sexual aspect it's even better because what people are really afraid of is being embarrassed. Promise her you'll never, ever write about it. She'll think she got off easy. And don't forget Mother's Day, May 13th.

Apr 29, 2007; Liam from MySpace Asks:

Hey, Stacey.
I just read your response to the "Arcade Fire vs. Modest Mouse" question, and although I was a little disappointed you didn't declare your affection for Modest Mouse who are way more awesome than AF (just one man's opinion), your reference to Julie London put a question in my mind: Is "makin' whoopee" still an acceptable euphemism for sex? I mean, I know this is obviously subjective, but how do you, Stacey "The Hedgehog's Advocate" Richter think a lady would react nowadays if the gentleman pursuing her suggested to her that they ought to engage in some raucous "whoopee-makin'"? Especially if said couple are in their twenties or thirties or so? I could see some women thinking that that phrasing is cute and playfully naughty in its own antiquated way. While I could see other women thinking that that is too old-timey and weird, and getting a little creeped out by it. Is it too subjective to even conjecture about? Please give me some advice before I potentially make a fool out of myself................. again.

Stacey answers:

Wow. Tough question, Liam. I advise that you use the phrase "making whoopee" sparingly, and only with ladies you know well. While whimsy and cuteness are charming, they're not actually sexy, and therefore they're unlikely to help you close the deal. The best scenario I can imagine is one in which you put the song on the stereo, look at the little lady, and wink. Creepy? Yes. But maybe creepy in a good way.

I strongly advise you to avoid the inverted version "whoopee making" altogether.

Apr 27, 2007; cancercausesreality Asks:

Wow! I just read your story "Christ, Their Lord" in the Tucson Weekly. You are really some good writer. You made me laugh and when you put in the part about why artists make art--"...To say all the things that have such power but sound so tame when we say them flat out: that we want love. that we're lonely...that we're afraid we're in the process of wasting our lives." Oh, man! Do I hear you! I gotta read all your stuff. Nobody is interested in mine. I just now found that out after all these years of faking myself out. Isn't that a strange way to get through life? I never met such a cool person as you in Tucson.

Stacey answers:

Thanks! That's nice to hear. To answer your question, yes, that is a strange way to get through life, but I'm sure you're not the first.

Apr 27, 2007; Waggamemnon Asks:

Arcade Fire or Modest Mouse?

Stacey answers:

Oh God, are those my only choices? I say Julie London.

Apr 25, 2007; Minny Asks:

Do we know if expectant mother is going to follow your suggestion? if not, i'm going to name my next pet, child, plant or car, WHATEVER i have to your suggestion...another real question- when I give my notice at my current job to leave for my new job (and new town) do i just say adios i'll tell you how it goes when i get there, or do i have to reveal details about my new life? i have such a conflicting pride about what i'm doing. exchanging one life for another. sorry it's such a boring question. maybe you can give me a real clever line to give them when I quit.

Stacey answers:

Hi Minny. How about you give them a weird, intense stare and say in a monotone: "I'm going to a better place." Then they'll think you're committing suicide! Later, you can send back pictures of yourself laughing and looking fabulous with celebrities (since celebrities impress everyone). If you don't know any celebrities, you can fake it at a wax museum.

Maybe Expectant Mother will write back sometime and tell us what she named her baby. I hope so.

Apr 25, 2007; Dilemmizzle Asks:

Stace-face, Should I follow the guy to Houston-freaking-TEXAS?! (I know you like the desert and all, but I am used to a fecundity of vegetation and liberalism) OR should I move to New York (cause it's the thing to do) for some kind of publishing job, even though all I want is to be canonically awesome? Which do you think is more like selling out? And if your answer leads me down a road of regret and resentment, I will, of course, blame you whole-heartedly. P.S. I can NOT get ENOUGH of My Mother the Rock Star

Stacey answers:

Great, a chance to screw up your life! I'm so happy. Go to Houston. You'll probably hate it, but if you really want to be canonically awesome you need to have the time to write, and since New York is one of the most expensive cities in the world, you'll have to spend all your time on the train because you're going to live in Queens. I don't know anyone (except editors) who really loves working in publishing anyway.

If I weren't so bossy, I would probably give you advice rather than tell you where to go. This advice would be based on how much you love the boy. Or on how much you like New York, and how much energy you have to work/ride trains/see the city/and write. Or how much you like to drive. I might also suggest you visit Houston and see what you think. I believe it's pretty green there--it's the humid, southern Texas, not the arid western part.

Apr 22, 2007; Curious Asks:

Dear Stacey, I'm sorry for the flip question, especially since it didn't garner real attention from you. Let me try again: Could you say a bit about your interest in twins, okay cavemen, and others in your stories--What attracts you to these characters, etc.?

Stacey answers:

Curious, I try to write about the things that I love or that fascinate me, and my main motivation is to not bore myself. I don't think: what would be wacky? but rather: what would be interesting to me? I realize there's a sub theme of same-but-different in this book: twins, clones, coyotes and dogs, the two string players, and, on a more species-wide level, cavemen. There are a lot of reasons why this theme is interesting to me, but mainly I feel it on a non-intellectual level, which is perhaps just another way of saying I like it.

I also sort of feel like, you know, who doesn't like identical twins and cavemen and clones without brains? I've sort of assumed that that everyone is fascinated by these things the way that everyone is fascinated by rainbows, dinosaurs, Ferris wheels, and serial killers.

Apr 22, 2007; expectant mother Asks:

Dear Stacey, I'm going to have a baby boy in July--very exciting! Do you have a suggestion for a strong, unique boy's name?

Stacey answers:

Spartacus, Sparky for short. Congratulations!

Apr 16, 2007; William Clifford Asks:

Hi Stacey, Whew, talk about hype. (You don't have to actually talk about it.) I'm afraid to finish my question now because it's so, um, basic (ie lame). But, I once heard there was no such thing as a stupid question (the man who told me that later went to prison, but that's a long, sordid story). So -- is the word "she" missing on pg. 260 (the last page, last sentence!!!)? Right in-between the words "since" and "was"? Yes, a fairly obvious question, but I think any reader who cares, who gives a damn, who hangs on to every word for dear life! would want confirmation. Stacey,can you confirm for me your editor's flaming oversight? All that beautiful momentum boobytrapped by a little ol' "she". Thank you. Sorry about the delay in responce, it took me several thousands of hours to fly from Chicago to NYC. PS One more question -- are you looking for blurbs from no-name authors (common people)? If so, I've thought of one for "The Land of Pain" which I will proudly give to the paperback edition of Twin Study. Just say the word.

Stacey answers:

William! You've returned! Thanks for pointing that out--I hadn't noticed the error. Almost every book has a typo or two but I wish this one wasn't the last sentence of the last story. But at least you read the whole book! That's good. Now that I know I can correct it in future editions which is important, so that wasn't a stupid question at all. I'm just a little depressed now.

Sorry it took me so long to answer. The website was being a bed website.

Apr 16, 2007; Curious Asks:

Dear Stacey: What's this with all the twin stories? Do you have an evil double?

Stacey answers:


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